And now there are Three/Denison Everywhere!

The house is quiet.  We have quite a bit of leftover dinner, and I even reduced the recipe!  Life on Newark-Granville Road is down to three. And a driving teen so things are different.  Peter and Clare are happily at their schools. Being tested often and checking in on Sundays.  Peter forgot his ties and a pillow. We mailed the ties and ordered a new pillow.  It was nice to have my Mom join the delivery day.  Mom likes to see where her kids/grandkids are.  One year she drove from Central Pennsylvania to Omaha, Nebraska, staying less than 18 hours just to see my apartment and have dinner with me.  Hooray for her friend Carolyn R. for making that trip.  Not much fanfare for Clare's delivery- she packed Bessie the car and went.  I didn't even take a picture- 2nd semester sophomore year I guess?

Work is kicking in- Denison students are making their way back. Details about how we're keeping them and our community safe here:  https://reopen.denison.edu/hc/en-us  Denison Everywhere is Wed (and tomorrow) two dates to include international families- a zoom gathering for each hemisphere- so clever!!https://alumni.denison.edu/denison-everywhere/  This event is for all Denisonians- parents, grandparents, alums, partners- register pleas!  School started for me and I am so excited! IUPUI Lilly Family School of Philanthropy- Master's program- Principles and Practices of Fundraising!  Every Thursday 6-9 pm- via Zoom is where I'll be.

In honor of the last child at home- I posted another picture of her on the main blog page. Actually, it is somewhat of a collage.  We cleaned out old frames and gave them away- (three cheers for Buy Nothing Granville for taking my frames, and art supplies)-but I had to capture these pics. Oh, the fun of capturing the beauty of kids and leaves!  The reality is we don't have as many pictures of Sally so here you go.  I remember the day with the three of them running. Sally was well into potty training- (no more diapers for Ducky) and so proud of those big girl pants..and her boots. Oh, Sal-gal we love you. Our pumpkin and Snow Angel.  It will be good to have this quality time with you, in our life on Newark-Granville Road. 

MLK Day- Race Relations Trying to Do Better*

 We can do better. We will do better.  A colleague sent an email and it took me down a rabbit hole.  Here are a few websites I visited, and some actions I can take.

103 Things White People Can Do Better

http://revisionisthistory.com/episodes/13-miss-buchanans-period-of-adjustment  I will listen to this.  N Related is the book: Talking to Strangers by Gladwell (above podcast host). I listened to this book. I have bought it and will review it reflecting on our world of today.  I will discuss it with my book club.

Speaking of Book Clubs:  Join or start a Daughters of Abraham book club in your Church, mosque, or synagogue. Interesting.  I really don't have time for another book club but- looking over this club's lists is interesting.  I like the idea of understanding different religions and acceptance, tolerance, and mutual support.

Tied to this is- buy from black-owned book stores! This is something I can do.  I like Ann Patchett so I buy from her, I also buy from Readers Garden. I can share the love, maybe you will too:

https://lithub.com/you-can-order-today-from-these-black-owned-independent-bookstores/

The good news is from this website, are things I have done! I've not only read- Orange is the New Black, but I also heard/saw Piper Kerman speak at Denison. Prism Reform (a big component of this blog page) is needed.  On my nightstand to read is The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander.

Clare read it and recommends it!!  We did discuss it as a family.

Remember the wise words of Twitter user @itsjacksonbbz: You will continue to mess up racism. So continue to be teachable, open to correction from POC, and vigilantly monitor yourself for defensiveness and white fragility. You never “arrive” as an ally, you must continually *practice* allyship.

This isn't easy. This isn't going to be easy.  There is a lot wrong.

There is so much right thought- we're talking, we're trying. I believe deeply in education and conversation.

My font has increased and that is a good thing too.

Have thoughts for me about this subject in my life on Newark-Granville Road- please call or email and we'll find time to talk.

Our work today was to Feed the Dream! We used the day to do a ton of good and help alleviate hunger in Licking County.  So much of race relations is socio-economic.  If you are hungry you can't learn. Root cause issues. Here is the link to donate: https://web.charityengine.net/Default.aspx?tsid=16980  I should have included this in yesterday's post.  Thank you to our organizers, volunteers, and donors.

Update- 2/7/21:

-https://denison.edu/campus/multicultural-students/wh/140490   Denison 21-Day Racial Equity Challenage!  Community members included, invited, encouraged- join me! The first/launch:

We will begin our 21-Day Racial Equity Habit Building Challenge on Monday February 8-February 28, 2021 through a self-directed, easily accessible daily “challenge activity” rooted in Mr. Moore’s following action values to establish an equitable community: Read, Listen, Watch, Notice, Connect, Engage, Act, Reflect, Stay Inspired.

Day 1 - Monday, February 8: The Wait for Racial Equity

• Challenge Activity: Listen to the Denison University MLK Day speaker, Dr. Danielle Allen of Harvard University, for a conversation on February 8 at 4:30 pm. Keep an eye out in the coming days for more information about events with Dr. Allen. (60 minutes)

*FPC- Our service today was beautiful (2/7/21).  It was a Godwink to have me reading scripture. I needed it. I was grateful to worship with others, hear music direct- unfiltered, pray and hear the stories of slaves, the reflections, the music, the lessons. Thank you Phillip and all involved //www.granpres.org/livestream

The book inspiring and called upon in the service:  Eileen Guenther’s In Their Own Words: Slave Life and the Power of Spiritual. 

Gratitute for Gratitude and MLK Feed the Dream Details!

 I received some very special gifts this holiday season.  One is a package of "Gratitude Cards".  I am excited to share, send, and use these cards with quotes about....gratitude!  I admit to having a slight bit of a hoarding mentality. I always want to ensure I have the perfect card to send and will hold something in reserve. I'm trying to do better- the card isn't serving its purpose in my card file. So as I send these cards I thought I'd document the quote here. This way I have the quote for the future and can use it when writing- notes, blog posts, remarks, etc... So here we go. I am indeed grateful for the reverence and understanding gratitude plays in my life on Newark-Granville Road, it was a good friend who shared such a giving gift.

It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy!

(this is going to a dear couple volunteering with youth at FPC- they have and will make so many people happy.)

Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to Grace!  Arianna Huffington

(oh my this is going to another church connection, we are all about the Grace in covid times!! During a meeting yesterday we were reminded to give ourselves Grace, not just others.)

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.  Helen Keller

Gratitude helps us to see what is there instead of what isn't.

The Leithausers are grateful for what we have in our life on Newark-Granville Road. That is why tomorrow we gratefully serve: FEED THE DREAM!   On Monday: 1/18/21- MLK Day we will volunteer from 11-12 at Ross' please drop off food or money for the Licking County Food Pantry!  Details here: http://onedayoneton.org/?fbclid=IwAR0cFKYsn5_kJcD69UFkAHcVTVDMG3Jpt2_IjtyDsTHMS3ulcukhoq8J64k

Updated- 1/25/21:  THANK YOU- appreciate everyone's support- and truly kudos to the leaders and board, but we could not have done it without the gifts (and the Ross IGA/Market!!). Results:

$20,000 in monetary donations and 1.6 tons of food!  With the FPN buying power, that is the food and funds equivalents of 121.6 tons of food collected for this year!  Joleen shared this quote with the news:

The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate acts of its members-  Corretta Scott King!  What a lovely community we call home, in our lives on Newark-Granville Road!

Sweet 16 on a Bitter Day

I was excited to capture Sally's sweet sixteen birthday celebrations.  Despite COVID we made it special.  Her idea- we went to the movies!  Wonder Woman 1984- a new movie, the sequel to a GREAT movie...a movie theater with a small, covid careful group- it was a lovely celebration.  Important messages in this movie- the truth is everything.  Girl/Woman power- woo hoo and be careful what you wish for....wishing has a price.  Pretty good themes for 16-year-old young women, all of us really at the start of new years.

On her actual birthday, we followed our protocol. Sally had a type of snow day- it was an asynchronous school day as teachers prepped classrooms for the new semester. Friends and family reached out and even delivered lunch with a special lunch dessert. Regular readers know- we have birthday dinners in the dining room and ice cream cakes are a new norm.  Sally was offered take-out but she opted for spaghetti and meatballs by Mom.  Sweet sally- I obliged, not my best but good enough.  She wanted an ice cream cake, Graeter's Cookies & Cream. So simple- make an oreo crust, freeze it, soften ice cream and unite it all in the springform pan.  And it is pretty good!?!  We set a festive table and sang to our girl, she opened cards and gifts. She made a wish. - it was a good day on Newark-Granville Road. 

Except in the background, our Nation's Capitol building was attached, by Americans?!? Insurgents. The President and his family invoked, encouraged this. This is criminal. I've been in the Capitol, I've followed the rules for the permissions to enter, I just can't believe the Capitol's security allowed it to happen.  It is so wrong on so many levels. So much more to say. So much more to understand.  For now here are important words from David Brooks: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/07/opinion/capitol-riot-republicans.html capturing some of the bitter parts of life as the backdrop on Newark-Granville Road on January 6, 2021.

I pushed this aside on January 6th to focus on my girl, our girl- she deserved a special day. Sally is smart, sassy, sweet, caring, emotional, hardworking, beautiful, and all teenage girl. Her 16th birthday fun was extended, as the next day we left the house at 7 am so she could claim her freedom as a driver.  As this right of passage approached it hit me hard that it was an end of an era for me and for Joe.  We would no longer need to pick up and transport, coordinate who goes, where, when, how. We'll still need to think through cars as we share and match appropriate cars for a certain use- easier in covid times.  I told Sally- please play your music in the kitchen now, I'll miss knowing your music from drive time. I'll miss my Sally time.  I will be seeking out opportunities to go places together.  However this is why and how we raise our children- to be independent, confident, and careful adults, and driving provides important lessons in the journey to adulthood.  I'm proud of her, happy for her...and for us.

I wish I could say the same for us as a country. Today as I type I have refound the energy to be hopeful. I am praying this will be a time to unite, come closer together as we've been so far apart in 2020 and for so long. Life on Newark-Granville road has felt the deep gray days of the week.  The birthday candles have provided light and Brooks reminds us- there are leaders ready to lead. They need our support, our input, and our voices.  So much is hard right now. And that is where we grow as MLK said:

• “We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.  Thank you Dr. King- thank you.  This seems to be the lesson we keep being taught in our lives on Newark-Granville Road.

It is official- Sally is a driver!

sally- 16th birthday- so much to wish for

Sally's special birthday!

A special and low-key Christmas and welcome to 2021.

 New Year's Eve- like most things in 2020, it was not a traditional holiday.  Change is good and we're grateful our usual hosts were able to explore, hike, embrace sunshine, and be together. We did the same for Christmas with the Stoner clan after all.  We look forward to celebrating the season of giving with the Leithausers soon!  We took advantage of our special evening to set a beautiful table, dine well, exchange gifts,  and be together.  Pictures below share the story.  Shout out to the good friend for arranging oyster delivery- something new for Joe- shucking oysters.  There really is not much better than fresh oysters. 

first time using oyster plates!

Christmas in Ashville was also a treat. We found a great house through Yonder Homes that was a perfect fit for Stoner's Under One Roof- quite the gift. In fact, Peter said it was his favorite Christmas gift of all time. (Mom, touches heart and tears up during this discussion.) Wow!  It was great to experience the Biltmore decorated for Christmas. I'm sad it is over- part of the fun was the planning via google sheets and brainstorming meals and arrangements. We ended up with an effective plan to send Peter and Clare to drive with Nana, they met up with Sarah and crew to visit Nana and Pap's old stomping grounds at VPI.  I added a day with Mom by driving her home and bringing our car back a day later.  I admit the drive with podcasts and books on tape was needed me time!  We're grateful everyone was able to attend and avoid the co-co. We all shared our worries around the campfire on the first night, but we needed this to be a special and different Christmas without beloved Pap.

our gift- matching pj- clare idea

our only full family pic?!!

Christmas Dinner teamwork.

girl cousins

white Christmas, tree fit in loft

And now New Year's Day...a day of rest in our life on Newark-Granville Road. A day of tradition in food- black-eyed pea dip, pickled herring, and pork and sauerkraut. We'll set the table again in a festive way and toast the new year and time together, recognizing how grateful we are for all we have. We'll say Grace with thanks to God and all those that support and care for us and ask for help for all in need, which really is all of us all the time. It is the new year, one full of promise and proof we are loved, we are love and we need to love. We'll watch OSU football - by the fire, texting with friends- go Bucs.

Not the holidays we're used to but lovely in our life on Newark-Granville Road. Not without tears, shouts, and frustrations, but here, us, and our way.  Lucy could not be happier to have us home.