good, bad and ugly...real life stuff.....

Did you see my post on facebook this week? Even if you follow me you may not have seen it- I don't understand why I see what when....the algorithm utilized amaze me and I get it- no way to keep up with all my friends- even in cyber world!  Anyway I posted about the need to check on texts, social media of my teenagers/preteens.  I pined (pine, not pin) for the days of telephones with cords and our parents able to overhear conversation.....and maybe they picked up and actually listened on another extension?! Do phones have that capability? Hmmmmm  but that would mean kids are talking on the phones....reading texts and social media is the new way we parent.

Thanks to all those that provided cyber high fives, sent resources you use to navigate our new reality. Here is the scoop and what I saw...I won't put this on FB but I will blog about it.  I will provide the "behind the scenes story" for those that click and follow and read my blog.  And by all means give me a call to talk that is what is missing, that is my big take away as I reflect on my post and the real life happenings on NG Road.

So while icky homework battle happening on the 1st floor, on the 2nd floor I find the ipad mini that we got free or at some silly price at some point...it is on Peter's bed.  His phone which isn't really a phone- it is my old phone with a million cracks- that can be used....we talked about this at grown up Sunday school last week- this is kids reusing, making things work- the today version- maybe they are not the disposable generation we think they are. Anyway I went right to the texts and found an exchange about "grinding" at an upcoming dance or the hope that this will be allowed.  And then there was a phrase that could be interpreted incorrectly about location of pants....imagine that the 13 and 14 year olds are "talking" communicating about sex.  Why am I shocked, surprised by this?  Actually I wasn't horrified but not pleased.   As I reflect I think about Dirty Dancing....love that movie...want to watch with the kids....but then I think of the topics, the scenes.....oh my...I probably need to watch it with them. 1987- that is when the movie came out by the way...it was part of my college escape. it is PG 13 by the way.

The next thing I found was on snap chat- Clare had to review with me to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. I guess it was a story so it stays up longer- maybe 24 hours?  It was a "friend" someone I've seen in Homecoming photos but I don't know personally.  She had two photos in particular that were not in the best taste and made reference to strippers and male bodily fluids. Yes back again to sex.  Again nothing that should shock me..i saw Porky's the movie in the 7th grade!!! We snuck in and yes we got caught!  Those Hagerstown parents were good...or we were stupid..actually we were young and our parents were committed.  Just like I'm trying to be now.  I'm not calling the person I know that knows the person who in my opinion used bad judgment.  I'm not reaching out to the mother or father that Peter was texting with about grinding.  What I'm doing is saying is help cyber world share the message that we have to watch, we have to be careful.

While Peter took a break from homework, he and I sat down and talked.  I told him these concerns:
-it is easy to make bad choices but we still love you.
-be careful what write down anywhere, any how- the Internet for sure.
-phones/ cameras not in bedrooms or bathrooms.  The snap chat was sharing photographs from the bathroom.  Mirrors catch things we don't intentionally want caught- best policy is keep the phones out of the bathroom.  Bad choice to send any picture.
We ended the talk with a big hug and I shared it on facebook.  Then I went back to the homework situation...that is the ugly on NG road...and maybe my reaction.

It is good that our healthy happy teens are expressing themselves, it can be bad when they make choices to post or just let their developing brains react in not so great ways...and it is an ugly world that can result in criminal activity I'm afraid.  Maintaining balance is the goal of the day, week, year...not overreacting- yes I do.  Being as in touch and there as appropriate- keeping and eye but not hovering and most of all talking and processing.  I'm glad I'm not alone, that in my busy world Facebook gives me a social support outlet and you dear reader are here for me, Joe our kids, their friends too...thank you.

I'll end with one last shout out- thank you teachers and staff at these schools with these ages.....Good grief!  These kids and their hormones and today's world- thank you for all you do, the time you spend with our kids.   So much more could be shared, talked, researched, thought about on these topics....but duty calls.  I'm enjoying a lovely delay go to work due to travel- something I adore and took for myself...another good- like to end on a positive!

Freeze Time, Savored it all.....

It is Sunday night and I wish I could do the whole weekend all over again.....what a lovely lovely weekend!  Often I write out here my desire to freeze time and tonight I repeat the sentiment. The blog lets me capture a special time in our lives on Newark-Granville Road.  Clare's 16th birthday weekend, added to Granville's Homecoming, mix in fun Denison visits by a classmate and family, good fall weather all with wonderful setting of Granville, Denison, Moundbuilders Country Club and good friends here and family and friends chiming in from afar....it doesn't get much better!

Do you remember turning 16?  I really didn't think I did until just now!  Now I do remember!! How could I forget....oh dear.  I've been busy, really busy.  When I've talked about this with my Mom and my sister the memory didn't engage.  And now with lots of to-dos crossed off and happy thoughts of Clare's big day bubbling...my memory is here.....The Romantics Concert!! Mercersburg Friends, Ocean City, MD...babysitting with a dear family and they let me go out on my birthday to the concert! The life guard near us at the show, the life guard on our beach while I played in the sand with the kids, shopping in Rehobeth....what a wonderful summer!!  I remember my sister's 16th birthday- surprise party with family friends- Phil and Sarah turing 16- Altoona, PA did parties well!

And so we made a memory for Clare this weekend.  We used our beloved Moundbuilders Country club to host dinner for nine friends. The nine friends in her group going to Homecoming.  Her dress- gold and white- was the decor theme and Hobby Lobby made it easy!  She let me bake her a chocolate cake, Angie and Rodney provided the perfect menu items.  She beamed, she glowed, she was sweet and happy and our darling sunshine.  Lovely lovely night and we enjoyed all who were with us!

Peter and his group had a grand time too.  Hip hip hooray for the Mom that shared the limo from another event/celebration- birthday fun- and got this cute group of freshman boys to the local pizza place and then the dance in style!  How nice for Peter.  Bonus he was in a suit another dear friend's son had outgrown and we put it to good use.  He looked so handsome!!

Sally dressed up and joined us for dinner and event execution, taking pictures and asking lots of questions.  She has been my trooper and assistance quite a bit this fall. It is how she processes and with the India trip coming up she pulls a bit closer.  It is sweet and I savor the relationship.

Bonus this weekend was Denison classmate in town with her darling family.  We shared drinks at the Inn and enjoyed her husband very much. Denison football game introduced us to her daughter who will make Denison home as part of the Class of 2021! We love these opportunities to share and show this special college on the hill...down the road.  Last weekend it was sharing a classmate's induction into the Varsity D hall of fame and meeting his beautiful family.

Church, shopping, a 5K run for Joe and Clare, baking and frosting the cake, a drive in the convertible, reading a good book, watching Peter play baseball, sleeping with the windows open, bringing out fall decor- the glass pumpkins and such, walking the dog holding Joe's hand while the sun sets....yes life on Newark-Granville Road was pretty special this weekend. I wish I could do it all over and freeze this time in our lives.  But that won't happen but I'll linger with it on the blog.  Thanks for reading!

Happy Sweet 16th Clare

Freshman Boys go in style- thanks Brautigans HC16

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Snap Chat

This Week in my life.....actually it is real life on...

I seem to be blogging weekly now.  The key board calls to me if I let it go much beyond that.   Weekend wrap-ups, reflections are one way to share what is happening in our quaint village.  The truth is we're jammed packed and in a whole new place with two teenagers and a middle schooler. Although things are very similar as we're still coordinating rides and relying on the kindness of others to drive and pick up our kids.

As I type my girls sit on the steps.  I've reverted to the old punishment. Time outs seem to be needed even for this age child.  The tone and words are not good. Sure we're stressed getting three out the doors close together, applying their own processes/timing.  Clare is first up but included return rest time before moving on her process.  Sally gives herself lots of times and adds commentary and Peter is the JIT guy.  Add parents with schedules that rotate and fluctuate and volley due to travel and it is nutty.  A quiet nutty that in my life on Newark-Granville Road still requires kind, positive interactions.  I'm typing this for myself too by the way- sometimes I need to sit on the steps.

Okay- that was not what I was going to share today- I was going to reflect a bit on BRW, India prep, a difference a year makes in a job, 16th birthday and Homecoming updates...stay tuned for those, hopeful in the moment, sharing the whirlwind not just reporting after it has occurred in our lives on NG Road!  Today's title should of been...live from NGR!

the real deal...change of seasons....

So many little things to share, that are not little...

-the car that didn't stop for the bus? GEEZE- driving in Granville, anywhere- slow down, be aware.  It is bus stop time of day- you have to stop.  Black convertible porsche- shame on you.  I've certainly had my oops- didn't stop at the cross walk and feel terrible, oh that was a stop light, not a stop sign...this is real.  The kids struggle with the bus drivers- they have such important jobs and I love that she honks whenever that happens...and it happens too much!  Thank you bus drivers. Thank you drivers that stop and are aware.

-yay Saly for finding the rust marks on my skirt- I lay this one over the top of the hangers...there is a bad hanger in there....or maybe it is the old house closet bar...sigh....

-saw my 14 year old son naked today- eek- I admit I've been curious, I am his mother...I know he is growing up...that reality I wasn't quite ready for, that change....a whole topic I'm not going into- we're very comfortable in our home, the house lay out, two bathrooms are shared, but the transitions pull the kids into more modest, some what modest approaches, not today!

-Clare confirmed it is the last day of summer, we'll welcome fall- so she has on her Jack Rogers.  It inspired me to pull out a summery top and some white. And Sally asked if she could wear autumn dresses tomorrow. I'm with you Sally. Can there be a cold snap please- the Denison Red sweater would be great for Big Red Weekend....78-80s makes it hard to dress....transition times!  I was the kid on the first day of school, no AC wearing the wool kilt and no we didn't have a uniform...it was my new back to school outfit and I was wearing it no matter the weather!

-The day did start with a wonderful visit to the yoga mat at Breathe...ahhhhh the sunrise sky my favorite shades of blue and yellow...ahhhhhh good thing I got up- as you can see I needed it.  My balance poses were off- right could do nothing, left was good.....we're in that place of switching again- but aren't we always?  

Life on Newark-Granville Road- thanks for sharing any insights you have for these things I welcome. Feedback isn't always easy but it is valued and appreciated.

HATSOFF 2016...a few pictures with some behind the scenes....

Thank you, thank you! All those that donated and made this work. Love this chance activity for the Works! Love a friend went home with the Dom, love the smiles and ops and ahhs and those that rolled with not getting the Dom or scotch!

Always more fun with a friend!  Glad the camera was out at the end of the night. Great pic Carolo- make sure you go to Facebook and see all the ones Carlo took- fantastic. Wish I had more to share!

Our only photo of the night!
Argyle Photo Booth Rocks!
Funny- when we went to take a picture at home before we left- sure enough no memory! Just like the commercial! Both of our phones- geeish! We made it a point to get this photo!

HATSOFF art purchase 2016- thank you Chris lang! She shears sheep and uses the wool for the felting- love her work!

Meet you at Howard! Thanks Howard and Janice for all you've done! It was the end of the night but we got one in....still looking good- hot HATSOFF!

Volunteer and Staff Logic

I can reflect on my life and know volunteering makes a difference and therefore volunteers make a difference.  Volunteering for Denison and The Works led to a deep appreciation and knowledge and ultimately my career in development, education and the non-profit world.  Worlds that relay on volunteers.  This weekend in my life on Newark-Granville Road my return role as volunteer for The Works was in full swing and it felt good!

Training I've received for my role at Denison has presented the mindset of helping people feel good. When you volunteer, donate to a cause- it feels good, really good.  This week and weekend we had our affirmation. For three days I spent time with donors and volunteers in Massachusetts- Concord, Mass to be exact.  Spending time in this historic town was inspiring- reflecting on our country's formation.  Those volunteers that made a difference. Was our country perfect at the start- no, but we started.  Concord embraced and continues to embrace the free and deep thinking, its literary history is quite inspiring.  The weekend wrapped in Newark, Ohio with amazing people united to make a difference, strengthen, sustain and move forward The Works. HATSOFF! the fundraiser was quite a special way to give back and see volunteers in action.

The staff of The Works deserve huge kudos.  This event only happens every two years but takes months to plan and execute.  The staff put full time jobs on hold to support volunteers making a difference.  The hours the staff put in almost make them volunteers!  Thank you Works staff for all you did, do and continue to do- thanks for loving The Works, Howard's vision, Licking County, Central Ohio, eduction, the arts, STEM, downtown Newark so well.  Volunteer leaders- you rock. You said yes, you created vision, you put endless hours and worry to make it happen and it happened so well!  Works volunteers that are always there- event after event, tour after tour- Alison Miller shared the sentiment last night and she was  so right- the incredible energy and commitment is inspiring.  I also love the family support that is in action- parents, siblings, family friends- pretty cool to see in action.

HATSOFF is incredible- what an event that allows volunteers to shine.  Creative energy and outlets in every part of the museum and tent.  The designer tables, Denison actors, creative and beautiful inside and out chance sales people- woo hoo!  Auction offerings allow business to shine- thank you, thank you for each every donation.  I oohed and ahhed at so many.  I loved watching talent merchandise it in the Works way! I am so grateful for the friends who helped transform the wall of wine to the Speak Easy Spirit!  The bag of miniatures was too much fun!  We even have a friend buy a bottle through us- delivery happens tomorrow!

This is a mini figure eight- picking up bottles, donated, delivering bottles and auction item.  My life on Newark-Granville Road circled back to volunteer and it feels great, but I did it with so much help, support, partnership and I'm so grateful in so many ways.

Three-ish....Book Club's Count

Thank heavens the book club women know when I say bring one to recommend...it is okay to bring...three-ish..Even I showed up with three books to recommend! I only put two on the board thought...and wow both were picked this year!

What a wonderful evening, what a fabulous group of intelligent, caring, passionate, well read, articulate women.  How lucky am I to have this gathering in my home, in my life on Newark-Granville Road. How fortunate to have friends to read with, discuss the books, to help direct and keep me focused- finish a book to discuss.  Read something recommended by someone I respect, follow a list created by a process I adore!

We come with one-ish book to recommend. We listen to one another.  We vote. We schedule and we make sure our protocol is applied- a non fiction, a young adult, a classic- at least one of each is on the list.  The classic takes more time to determine but we do it.  Themes bubble up- water, WWII, certain countries, women's issues- we all grow, are challenged, laugh, cry, think, pause because of these books, these reads, these friends, this time, this night on Newark-Granville Road.  Want the list, want to join the group- email me at ssleithauser@gmail.com.

I love the fact this book welcomes everyone. We miss those that have moved away, moved on to other groups or just can't fit it in at this time....we welcome new members- hooray- three today!  We always discuss the books. You may attend if you haven't but spoiler alert- we will talk about the ending.  Some of us enjoy a bevie from the bar, some don't.  We make December special and always select for the year in September and for the most part meet on the 1st Monday of the month at 7:30 pm.

Life on Newark-Granville Road- sharing the book love, another great night!