Annual Run for the Roses Party- Derby 2020 during a Pandemic and Peter Grad Party status!

Start making your plans to join us- virtually- on the 1st Saturday in May, May 2, 2020.  
We hope you will:
-host your own derby party in your home, during "shelter at home".
-make a mint julep- recipe on link below!  Mint is growing around town and available at Ross Market (IGA) in clamshell packs.
-prepare traditional Kentucky Derby foods:  https://www.kentuckyderby.com/party/recipes- including juleps!
-tune in at 5:45 pm for a new virtual race- https://www.courier-https://www.courier-journal.com/story/sports/horses/kentucky-derby/2020/04/29/fantasy-kentucky-derby-race-matches-13-triple-crown-winners/3039266001/
-join us at 6:20-for a cyber toast to....Peter Leithauser! On Zoom- get in touch with us for the code! This was supposed to be his graduation party blended into Derby party!
-post and share pictures from past Leithauser Annual Derby parties!
-add making a donation at this awesome collection event- Sat am:  https://www.michaeldeangibbs.org/post/covid-19-collection-drive-for-boys-girls-club-big-brothers-big-sisters-and-granville-students

We will:
-be mulching and getting the house as ready as we can for spring!
-drinking mint juleps and using silver and our past race glasses
-drinking Granville Brewing and Yuengling.....hmmm we may be drinking all day and you know what Joe says- to drink all day you have to start in the morning!  Granville Brewing FB  list of this week's brews!
-enjoying last year's pizza treat from FireUp Pizza- we picked some up at the IGA! https://fireduppizza614.com/
-decorating the house to honor Peter- Granville High School Class of 2020, excited to join Wabash College in the class of 2024!
-toasting with you either on Zoom or Facebooklive or both....
-plan to host a live party when the derby runs on Sept 5, 2020!
-gather with you all to toast Peter live when we know more about his graduation.


We are still:
-figuring out what to wear! Do I wear the dress I bought for Peter's graduation?  Wear a red hat- last year I went with yellow and gold for Clare and Wooster colors as it was her combined party.
-setting our menu- lots of cookie debate tonight at our planning meeting (dinner)
-missing being together!



Stay tuned for updates and more information. This year is a bit subdued not only by the COVID-19 virus but the death of Michael Stoner- see earlier posts. He wants us to go on and loved this party and meeting so many attendees when he attended and ran our betting booth!

I love seeing the fun folks are having at home and I'm in the mood for a party- a Derby party- but I will miss you!  That's what life is all about: Let's have a party. Let's have it tonight.      Lilly Pulitzer  Okay- not tonight but on the 1st Saturday in May!

Thursday Update- How do I even prep for Derby this year- do I know how to keep it low key?  So strange! And I am grieving this too- I was grieving before my father's death- it feels like a big old swirly, smoothie of emotions these days.  Memories help, friends and family help- the cards I'm opening in the mail are beautiful. 

Added Thursday:  Granville Brewing and Yuengling- advice- one or two juleps is plenty!! Fired Up Pizza link And info on the collection drive happening Sat am- beautiful story/foundation!!

Friday Update- So touched by so many, figuring this out- just thinking and prepping in this 2020 way brings me joy.  Here is a fun video I hope to load- if not make sure you watch in your own browser- PERFECT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m16LBQNUNoY

Friday update- not enough room for Joe's take over- he gets his own- don't miss the bourbon histories! on a seperate post.  The house is shaping up nicely- special thank you to those helping!! Joe mowed the lawn...remember fondly dear friends helping with this task!   And if you look on Facebook you will see how our Mastedon is helping us with our prep!!

The Long Farewell and April Wrap-Up

My father's MDS diagnosis-https://www.mds-foundation.org  ten years ago was scary and we're grateful for the physician that diagnosed and supported his journey.  He became a good friend to my parents. Those ten years were filled with life.  There were ups and downs, I recall the relief when my parents understood the MDS could be managed.  If anyone wants or needs to discuss this I am happy to.  The MDS did take a toll on my father and his energy eventually did decrease and his mobility was curtailed. Another friend with MDS said it well- I never go far from my blood. This dear man died in December. I'd say the past year he wasn't quite the Daddy I knew but there were moments and he tried. He was there for Clare's graduation and our summer vacation- arranging the weekly blood at this point to work for the travel. It truly has felt like a long farewell and I know how lucky I am to have had this.  The decision to stop the blood transfusions and call hospice was his and Mom's- they did it together.  I'll never forget the phone call when he shared the decision and understanding his life was ending.

Thank you, Hospice. https://hospiceofwc.org  Thank you to my doctor and friend for answering my questions and preparing me. Thank you, Mom, and Dad for the conversations and honesty. Thank you, Joe, and my kids for sending me off to Maryland and keeping things going. Thank you, Denison, for all the support. Thank you friends here, there and everywhere for checking in, texting, calling. Thank you radio stations for classical and oldies, and bluegrass CDs to comfort and keep company. Thank you FPC- Karen for talking and coaching. Thank you, Matthew, and Dawn, Greg and Sarah- my siblings- we did it together. We supported Mom and Dad and one another. We had over three weeks from that phone call until he died and that was a gift.

We created a service in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic that worked for us.  A beautiful graveside service on April 25. A beautiful blue sky day- crisp and clear with sun, clouds and good temps.  We agreed on comforting scripture, were grateful to have a trumpet play beautiful hymns and shared the poem- Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Eve by Robert Frost.  The pastor shared the message we all believe- it was not goodbye, it was farewell.  God sent us Jesus to show us the promise of heaven and resurrection.  Daddy is in heaven no doubt about it.  He is with my grandmothers- his mother who died of leukemia when my father was eight and my mother's mother he loved dearly, bickered with about politics at the Sunday table and loved her daughter- he lays to rest next to her.  (Funerals and visits to gravesides are important- my kids didn't realize Sally shares a birthday with Gaga- thankyou headstone!) We each put a flower with his ashes and thanked him for being the father, husband and grandfather he was. We will be the best we can be because he lived and lives on in us.  We then were given the extra treat of a carillon concert at Mercersburg.  My parents often drive up there on Sundays for this purpose. My brother made the call and the carilloner was able to delight and comfort us with music in a beautiful setting.

Music shared that day included: Dvorak's Coming Home, The Mercersburg Alma Mater, Eternal Father Strong to Save (Navy Hymn), Jesus I Live to Thee (Mercersburg Hymn), Hymn of Hope and from Man of LaMancha- The Impossible Dream.   Lyrics for Impossible Dream  I hope you will read these. I read them and think of my father and know he achieved his dreams - so many of them- but family his greatest.  Funerals are for the living but I learned they are also for the dead- it is another AND living and dead. It felt good to partner with so many to honor my father and comfort us with our farewell.  

 

We did not get to have the celebration of life we wanted and need. We did not have the whole family. We did not get to embrace friends and extended family. We left having something to look forward to- not sure when yet- summer would be nice but it maybe something else. We get to plan! We'll keep you posted.  Until then thank you for all those sharing the toasts you've been making. Thank you for the continued love and support and ways to care for my family and me.  We all said we know how loved Mom and Dad are and witnessed it these past three weeks. We were able to leave Mom on Sunday (with plans to return soon) knowing she is strong and surrounded by friends and family in Hagerstown.  I was welcomed home to Granville in the most amazing of ways and appreciate each action and word. I've overwhelmed and taking my time as I continue to say farewell and understand my season.  I do so grateful for my father.  I share a beautiful painting created for him by his neighbor- a very talented artist. He was so taken by this act- I loved hearing him tell his friend and physician- I've been immortalized in art!

Look closely and you'll see my Dad sitting at the Harpers Ferry Station. This is what he did - he watched his trains and talked to people.  Thank you Royce- this painting has been such a comfort these past few weeks.  My father lives on in so many ways. On Saturday, we did not say goodbye, only farewell.   

So, life on Newark-Granville Road is carrying on.... Saturday is Derby Day COVID-19 style. What does that mean?  Stay tuned to this blog and we'll share what we're up to. We hope you'll make your own julep- our recipe coming soon. We're so very sorry not to be together.  Life on Newark-Granville Road and MWS love a party. Many of you knew my Dad as the bet master and I appreciate you sharing that with me.

I will end with the lyrics of a song played on Saturday on the carillon.  It wasn't one that I associated with my father- that was Edelweiss- the lullaby he sang to me, the song we danced to at my wedding.  Climb Every Mountain's words are a lesson he now shares.  He is with me and us always and forever- encouraging us to learn and take the back roads!

Climb Every Mountain by Rodgers and Hammerstein

Climb every mountain

Search high and low

Follow every byway
Every path you know

Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live

Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live

Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream

The gifts from my father.

Below is the link to the obituary for my amazing Dad- Michael Watson Stoner.  I could type for hours about the gifts he provided.  I've shared many of them along the way on this blog, more recently as we've prepared for his death.  As I gather these thoughts I realize he prepared me for this time in history!!

• Go for a walk in the woods.... not surprising he enjoyed Bill Bryson's book with the same title and really enjoyed Bryson's new book- The Body- a gift I game him to promote Denison family fun.
• Denison!   It was my parents that pointed me to our fair college on the hill!  Daddy said- you don't know what you want to be professionally, you need a liberal arts school.  Mom said- let’s stop at Denison as we go out to Ohio- I've always heard good things.  (I had thought another school would be a fit- Mom knew best.  She had looked at Wooster when she was looking herself but ended up at Maryville, near Daddy at Virginia Tech!)
• Love good food and try new menu items...okay sorry Daddy- we're going to be careful on this one- no bats! Covid humor!?!  My love of seafood- oysters, crab, ceviche....and ritual food- sitting around the table and talking while picking crabs or cooking fondue.
• Scotch! Often I'm asked where did you learn to drink scotch? The answer- when I made my Dad's drinks I'd take a taste and I liked it!  When I graduated from college we discussed cocktails hour preferences- he encouraged me to try scotch.  I never looked back!  Is it 5 pm yet?
• His beloved quote- The Best gift a father can give his children- love their mother.!  And oh, he did!  This is the foundation for our family, and I love how my mother loved him. Their marriage mattered and they included us in incredible family times and commitment.  You're seen this on the blog with vacations to the beach, holiday time and special celebrations like their 50th reunion almost five years ago.
• He always encouraged us to be creative and use our imagination. He shared his love of art, music, reading and conversation. He was a lifelong learner and modeled this for u

Obituary for MWS:  https://www.lininger-fries.com/memorials/michael-stoner/4193798/index.php

Life on Newark-Granville Road, thank you Daddy.

LOL is what the doctor ordered during COVID-19!

Here are the funnies that have been so appreciated in my life on Newark-Granville Road during the pandemic and with my father's end of life season laughter is the best medicine! 

Pluto!!! Oh the first time I saw this little pup and heard him refer to us as the two-leggeds I giggled until I cried.  He chronicles the toilet paper hording of the COVID-19 crisis so very well! Some of my colleagues joined me in this level of laughter.  My children do not.  Now I put Pluto on to laugh at my children's response!  insta: pluto.living    or  Pluto.living on YouTube

John Krasinski performs "Proud Mary" by Tina Turner   https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=390199881580985   Lipsync fun!!    Quite a few lip syncing performances out there- some produced during the pandemic with local friends- impressive and appreciated!

For years now I've enjoyed these music videos - certain subjects make me laugh harder than others- is it the song they choose, the subject, when there is more singing vs ? Check out the vault here  The Holderness Family Parodies!  Today I call attention to "True Colors"  Holderness-True Color music video   I like the singing and the talking box made me laugh...hmmmm sounds a bit pluto-ish!?

Back to the art (previous post)  since comedy and video production are the arts I have not deviated from the subject!  Back to theater- a week ago my sister and I shared a favorite musical production conversation with my father- Sarah and I had the same- A Chorus Line! And the next day I was treated to this:  https://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/Must-Watch-A-CHORUS-LINE-Revival-Cast-Reunites-In-Quarantine-20200416   What delighted me was the older dancers with nimble muscle memory, real life locations and audiences- look for the kids when watching and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!  Okay I liked singing a long as well.  If I could do a tik-tok to this myself I would!

So I'm not really a stand-up comedian person- it is one of the things I should have put on the Facebook get to know one another lists.....but maybe it is just who is presenting  Here is another video that had me laughing and captures the real life happenings- like the stock market!!  https://www.facebook.com/BuzzFeed/videos/163886261536915/?v=163886261536915

I'll stop here,  you most likely have seen these.  I will say I selected pieces I think are worth watching and laughing over again and again and while we stay at home that is a good thing in our life on NG Road!

The Arts are Alive- Join in and Your insights please!

Hello from Newark-Granville Road! I'm back for a bit: giving my sister quality time with my parents and giving me time with my family. Ohhhhh I do love my life on Newark-Granville Road.  So much to share, reflect, examine, confess....our "stay at home during COVID-19" provides much fodder! Today's post is about the arts.  And talk about an abundance of materials. I'm inspired and in awe of all the creativity and talent.  My father and I have had some great talks last week and not surprising to me he stressed the importance and how much he values imagination.  Today's post highlights that well!  Two things to share and encourage you to join me in marveling:

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGisfpteKME&feature=youtu.be   "Sherry" from Jersey Boys cast in NY- "stuck at home production"  http://www.jonathan-cable.com-Jonathan Cable- my colleague's son.  My colleague- sent this to us and said we could share.  I just loved it.  I love the music, the peek in to NY homes/apartments, streets, personalities.  What a lovely gift for us all and an important message at the end. THANK YOU to all those going out to keep us safe and keeping our life as normal as possible.  Enjoy!

-https://www.facebook.com/events/153266879367274/?active_tab=discussion  Virtual Glass Show opening!  

Can't go to The Works? The Works is coming to you thanks to Facebook!  Let’s make our own remote cocktails by the fire today and enjoy Kathryn Starr's amazing work.  The show is titled "Just Wingin

 It"   Kathryn's work makes me smile for so many reasons. I loved seeing her during February's Cocktails by the Fire! Ahhhhhh memories!  Spread the word please.

-Paper Assist! And last but not least- how are you accessing art - performing and visual!  I'm working on a grad school class project about the arts and culture subsector of philanthropy!  The class has been modified to include the COVID-19 impact.  I'm impressed by all the ways organizations are providing access- I'd love to hear about your thoughts and experiences- email me at ssleithauser@roadrunner.com please!

Life on Newark-Granville Road is rich and robust- even from home and all the more when you engage with me. THANK YOU for reading!

Happy Easter 2020

I'm missing life on real life Newark-Granville Road.  I'm missing the routine and family time stay-at-home gave us.  I'm in the right place, this time with my parents as my father's life draws to an end is a gift.  Yesterday, was one of the beautiful and really hard days. Yesterday evening was a day with tears, uncontrollable, unstoppable, cleansing tears. It was needed. It wasn't the first since we entered this chapter or stage and it won't be the last. As I laid in bed heartbroken my focus was- Easter is tomorrow, there will be comfort. Easter is tomorrow, there will be comfort.  And yes today pictures of past Easters, memories, music, scripture, hymn, being together, texts and calls, the light of Christ, flowers, chocolate before noon and a great sermon have been providing comfort.  I hope you are finding comfort today.   Here are some of the words that have put me at ease and placed me in a state of contentment.  I hope you are finding comfort and peace today.

Sunday Morning TV- ahhhh- watching with my Mom and drinking a homemade latte:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/timothy-cardinal-dolan-the-renewal-of-spring/  I appreciated the attention to the Christian and Jewish faith and absence of religion, looking to nature for well-being.

FPC- Granville- our church- in partnership with Centenary Methodist across the street- beautiful Easter Service-the sermon truly is worth a listen. I hope we'll be able to read it in the future- impressive collaboration with our two ministers!  

https://www.facebook.com/granpres/videos/281901389487885/    Scripture important component of sermon starts at 24 minutes!

And this hymn we sang together and was printed in our order of worship:

Hymn - In the Bulb There Is a Flower

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity.
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

#denisonproud #thankyoufromDenison #thankyoufordenison

Quick follow-up to yesterday's post- we surpassed goals and were so inspired and touched by the gifts, comments and commitment to ensure support. Thanks to all!  This video says thank you but also shares what has been happening these past few weeks! I am #denisonproud!
https://www.facebook.com/denisonuniversity/videos/591172724813286/
Life on Granville Road is so touched by Denison and Denisonians every day.  Thank you.

#allinfordenison! 2020 Day of Giving

https://denison.kindful.com/day-of-giving-2020-2020/team-annual-fund    Follow the link to participate in Denison's 2020 Day of Giving.  Now more than ever Denison needs our support.  The COVID-19 crisis affects everyone differently.  If you are engaged with Denison- as alum, family member, friend- please consider a gift- follow the link above on April 9th- Thursday and join us in making a gift.

I'm grateful to my parents for their support- they too are #allinforDenison- they sent three kids and are proud of their four alum children (Joe makes 4).  My Mom encouraged us to visit - she had heard good things and it was my Dad that said- you don't know what you want to be- find a good liberal arts school.  Thank you Mom and Dad!  The picture below and on my FB page is from our graduation.  We were disappointed we had to move inside to the Livingston gym.  This was before Mitchell.  Seating was limited- they took the Sunday paper and were the first to arrive.  Life is figure eights. Now I go early to greet the parents and families I'm fortunate to work with and develop relationships with to celebrate the special day.

Class of 2020- 21-22-23 we're all in for you!  Class of 2024 we can't wait to welcome you- choose Denison!   Class of 1990- sigh our 30th reunion...and 91 and 89- oh the fun we were going to have. We'll get together later and different places- keep the faith Denisonians! My dear colleagues and friends- I miss you. Thanks for all you are doing.  Denison families- you are amazing- stay in touch!!
We are creative, innovative, smart, driven, connected and loyal- we'll unite and celebrate.  Stay safe and thank you for your support and engagement and being indeed- #allinfordenison  just as we are in our life on Newark-Granville Road!

   Will find other picture of Matthew '91!!

Help when needed, sharing good advice and the news in my LONGR....

Karen Straub Cowie  posted on Facebook 4-7-20

5 hrs · 

I work pretty hard at keeping my professional hat off in my personal circles, but lately I’ve found that harder knowing people I care about are struggling. So here’s some 5 cent thoughts from Lucy:

It’s obvious that we are going through unprecedented times. But what isn’t obvious is how to get through those times. We are faced with needing to use two different types of coping skills. First are the problem focused skills. This includes figuring out the logistics of working from home, developing a plan to balance work and caring for kids, problem solving financial strategies to manage job loss/ cuts in pay, or creating a new routine for your day, etc. It’s the “doing” part. Unfortunately given the unknown nature of the virus it doesn’t provide much relief of anxiety.

The second type of coping skill are emotion focused. This process shifts the energy from trying to fix or solve the problem to allowing the emotions to come in and go out. It is truly the sense of riding the wave and going with the flow of things. This is accepting the situation that we have- not the one we want. So what does that look like?

~Self-care and compassion. Expect to be more tired- your brain is working on overdrive trying to make sense of all of this. This is a good time to practice some kind self-talk and treatment of your body.
~Try grounding yourself with fresh air and paying attention to your five senses. This will remind you of a time when things didn’t feel so surreal.
~Move your body. This is important because movement helps reset your nervous system. Your lizard brain is trying to figure out if things are safe, so it needs a break from the media for some fresh air and movement to allow your stress hormones to return to normal levels.
~Accept what you are feeling and give yourself permission to allow the feeling to come in and pass on through.
~Think creatively about alternative traditions. Rituals are an important part of our society. They mark significant chapters and experiences and help us feel connected to something larger. As time continues to pass and more things are canceled, the grief over the losses will start to accumulate. This puts us in a catch-22 because one of the best ways to manage grief is through connection to others and that is the very thing causing the cancelations. Rather than dismissing these rights of passage, think of ways these traditions can still be honored in a different way.

I’ve been encouraged by the increasing open acknowledgement of the toll the pandemic has had on people’s mental health. The anxiety of the unknown; the sadness associated with isolation; the grief over lost traditions; the fear of getting sick or getting others sick, etc. I hope that the silver lining in all this is a step closer to de-stigmatizing mental health and normalizing that everyone has times when things are hard.

Thinking of all of you friends!

Just what I needed, thank you Karen for sharing this on Facebook.  The timing was right. You articulate so many things I've known, wondered about, embraced and need to repeat or start!  Your point about being tired, the five senses, fresh air- oh so true, so true!  Many people know but I'll share it here. I'm in Maryland with my parents. My father's health is not good- related to the MDS. I'm grateful for his love, my parents' love and our relationships and the time to be together.  You'll see more posts related to this, for now take care of you and your families.

Capturing the Pandemic Moments and Milestones on Newark-Granville Road

 I enjoy capturing photos of life on Newark-Granville Road and sharing them on this blog.  Here is a professional photographer capturing families and homes in our village, the link to his blog here:https://www.henryfoto.com/blog/2020/3/30/granville-ohio-covid-19-pandemic-quarantine-project  What a treat to meet Henry Leiter and be included in this project.  This artist is doing important work and introducing me to new families, neighbors and what I hope will be future friends! I'll keep you posted on the progress- the coffee table book that follows or maybe an exhibit?  I do hope to connect with these families.  Thank you Henry for bringing us together during this time of being a part of our life on Newark-Granville Road.

Behind the scenes with this one- an intent of the blog was never just to post but to share the why. So why an apron- because I'm cooking most days and loving it! This week was chicken enchiladas- Aunt Dawn -summer vacation recipe-ish. That meant Joe roasted the chickens in the instapot- see his apron- Hail to the Chef apron, mine is Derby or Keeneland-and that meant chicken noodle soup and chicken salad for lunches!  Sally is holding our state of Ohio- we are proud of the approach our state is taking and the leadership https://coronavirus.ohio.gov/wps/portal/gov/covid-19/home  Gov. Mike Dewine, Amy Acton (Denison parent of an alumnus) and Lt. Gov Jon Husted updated us daily around 2 pm.  Clare is in her Wooster work out gear- keeping her routine and the endorphins help with missing her college days.  Peter is rolling through his senior year - just as his bike took him to umpire work, the bike path helps him pass time during covid-19.  The yellow umbrella is for the Granville Library's bear hunt- keeping our bear dry.  Lucy didn't make the cut but she welcomed Henry!

April 1st was a special birthday for Peter- two cakes, a family favorite meal, Texas Hold-Em, lovely cards, gifts, texts and calls!  Thank you for helping us celebrate our dear boy!!  Pap celebrated in a similar way- Nana's cooking.  Our salmon cake, mac n cheese, stewed tomatoes, fresh broccoli Leithauser celebration meal was a Jeanne Stoner classic.

As a follow-up to the last post- 3 of us gave blood!  The three eligible to give and I'm so proud of them and grateful!  Thank you to all that posted, shared, donated and made appointments to give- it matters!  My Dad's health has him very weak- MDS is a slow decline- we've hit a bump in this road and maybe a pothole- more later.  The blood he has received for many years has allowed him to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary with my Mom a few years ago, attend Clare's hs graduation last year and share and coach on so many things from screen porches, to books he reads.  Please keep him, my Mom and our family in your prayers- we feel your love.  

More pictures later- technical difficulties!  Thanks for sharing our life in this pandemic on Newark-Granville Road